An infertility story that taught me patience
INFERTILITY WAS TAKING CONTROL OF EVERY AREA OF MY LIFE
So many woman have had an infertility story that has taught them patience. Infertility is such a touchy and sad subject. I know because I lived it for years. Watching all of my friends get pregnant while I was aching for another child. My husband and I each had our own child but we wanted a child together. There were many nights that I would cry out to God and ask Him why I couldn’t get pregnant again. Did I not deserve a child? Why am I having to wait so long to get pregnant? Will I ever have another baby?
FINDING A DOCTOR IN THE STRANGEST WAY
The weirdest and funniest thing happened. We went out to eat at Subway when I looked down and saw a free magazine. Written on it was an article about a gynecologist in town that specialized in infertility.
Now, I live in a small town so I didn’t think that we had any infertility specialist in our town. I took a deep breath and made an appointment. He suggested that I should take an infertility pill called Clomid. After a few weeks of taking Clomid, I became pregnant!
I kept thanking God for granting me the desires of my heart. A few weeks later I was at Hobby Lobby and came across a verse that I claimed. It hung on the wall in the nursery. This is definitely an infertility story that taught me patience.
1 Samuel 1:27
I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.
TRUSTING IN GOD
This is when I realized that me not getting pregnant had nothing to do with whether I deserved a child or not.
- I decided to trust in God
- God knows what is best for me and my family
- Being patient and waiting became my new normal
Endometriosis was taking over my organs. I had to make a decision soon whether or not to have a hysterectomy. This is when I looked towards the sky and pleaded with God.
I prayed that night that if He wanted me to have a child, then I would wait until I was 32 to have surgery. Once I turned 32, I was having a hysterectomy if I wasn’t pregnant by then.
I had to come to the realization that I might not get pregnant and I was okay with that. Just shy of being 31, I was making one of the biggest decisions of my life.
I thought, well that was easy and my journey will be easy from here. Ha, ha, I guess God really wanted me to remember this pregnancy and delivery. See, I wanted more kids but not after this journey. This is why we adopted after this.
About 3 months into my pregnancy, I acquired gestational diabetes. A few months after that I had pre-eclampsia. I started swelling up like a balloon! About 30 weeks into my pregnancy, I was admitted into the hospital. They had to keep an eye on me because it could of led into serious, even fatal complications. Well, even more complications arose. I started having labial edema. It became the size of a basketball!
READY OR NOT, HERE SHE COMES
My pastor and his wife came to visit me in the hospital. He asked what he could do for me and I asked him to pray that I would have my baby in one week. The nurse overheard me and said, “Don’t pray that! It is too dangerous for her to come now!”
I felt like I was slowly dying but I had a peace about her coming early because I didn’t think that I was going to make it. God was protecting my daughter. Normally, I would of agreed and freaked out about the thought of her coming that early but God again gave me peace.
EXACTLY, a week later my daughter’s heart rate went down. The cord was wrapped around her neck so they did an immediate C-section. Courtney weighed 3 lbs. and 4 oz. She was on a ventilator but started breathing on her own soon after. I wasn’t able to meet her until the 3rd day because of my labial edema. Not being able to move made me became deeply depressed. “How could I take care of her if I couldn’t even take care of myself?”, I wondered. This is an infertility story that taught me patience.
WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO ME
At this point they had called doctors in Atlanta to find out what to do with me because no one knew what to do. Doctors from different floors came to look at me and they were perplexed. Am I going to live like this forever?
I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. This isn’t how it was supposed to be. God, you helped me to get pregnant and now this? It was time to release me. That is right RELEASE ME! I can’t even walk and they want to release me? They said that there was nothing that they could do for me.
GOD’S TIMING IS PERFECT
Then God showed up right on time! A nurse from another floor walked by my room. She asked the doctors what was going on and then she saw me. This nurse told the doctors to hold on while she made a phone call.
She explained that there was a certain place where people who have their lymph nodes removed and would swelled up like I did. A lymphatic massage might be the answer according to the masseuse. Her patients are always cancer patients and she had never seen this happen during a pregnancy. They massaged me and it worked! My lymph nodes had quit working and just needed a jump start. I lost 50 pounds in two weeks, I finally had hope and could walk again!!!!
Slowly, I was able to walk to the NICU and hold my baby girl. My mom was filling in for me until I could be with my daughter. Courtney was a strong willed child (still is). They said that I could never put her on a sofa alone (at 3.6 ou.) because she wiggled her way out of two tightly wrapped blankets and then she scooted over to the side to prop her foot up on the side.
I remember just staring at her praising God that she was here and healthy. He was with me every step of the way and He can do the same for you. Once again, an infertility story that taught me patience.
Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.
GOD IS WITH YOU
No matter how your story ends, God will use it to help others. Please trust me in this. I have friends that could never get or stay pregnant. My heart hurts for them. It was hard for them but the never stopped trust in God. This was an infertility story that taught me patience. If this an issue that you are having, let me pray with you. Leave a comment below so we can communicate.